Thursday, June 21, 2007

Knitting in Denial: A Play in Two Acts

by stephanie

Act One
Scene One

Curtain rises on a lone yarn cake, spotlight slowly reveals a beautiful hank of Cherry Tree Hill, color slate.



Enter the knitter. Working diligently on her socks. Light upbeat music faintly in background.


Knitter: The plan, knit a gorgeous pair of hand knit socks. The pattern, hedera




Knitter: Oh cth how I love the way you slide effortlessly across my needles.

Stage lights dim. Low, foreboding music begins to rise.

Knitter: How about we try you on, you've been a bit snug, but I know that your beautiful lace will expand. Let's just play it safe, you know my pal's feet are a little bigger than mine.

Music crescendos. Lights dim lower. Knitter slumps further into the overstuffed couch.

Knitter: Hmmm...where did that sweater I was working on go?

Act One
Scene Two

Knitter sits happily on overstuffed couch, legs crossed, ipod playing.

Knitter: Oh ivy, how soft and fluffy you are. You set my mind at ease. Even though your gauge is off, my expert knitty math keeps me confident that you will become a wonderful work-appropriate knit cardigan.

Stage lights dim, low foreboding music begins to rise.

Knitter: Hmmm...something doesn't feel right.


Knitter: (sniffling) You have GOT to be kidding me. Goddamn Goldilocks...sock to small, sleeve to big. Argh.

Act Two
Scene One

Curtain rises on the knitter, cross-legged on the overstuffed couch, knitting in hand.

Knitter: (taking deep breath) Alrighty then...goodbye beautiful.

Knitter begins to not-so-carefully rip out the sock.


Knitter: Alrighty, a fresh start. Let's add in an extra repeat, that should give us almost an inch to the sock and plenty of room for my pal's well deserving foot.

Knitter: Well, since we don't want a repeat of last week, lets give her a try on and see.

Stage lights dim, low foreboding music begins to rise.

Knitter: F*@#, f*@#, f*@#.


End scene.

7 comments:

s b said...

What a tragedy!! :)

Leigh said...

i felt i needed popcorn!

Ana said...

What a tragedy but it had me giggling at the end! I had no clue how the story would end! Although, you did leave me wondering what happened to the too big sleeve?

country mouse said...

Are you going to give the yarn a bath, to compensate it for its patience in being frogged and reknit twice? And if so, are you going to document that act of the drama?

stephanie said...

ana - the too big sleeve is still in it's same precarious state. it will need to be ripped back to the cuff (which with the twisted/cably pattern) fits just fine. i am however, more concerned about getting a move on with my sockpal's socks.

mouse - i've thought about it. my cth, compared to sarahs is much more tightly plied, so it's actually done well with the frogging. i think i might cast on with the next size needle and see how it looks, it may however need a good bath and if i can remember to take pics during the day i will (unlike the horribly dark pics in the post...ugh). i do think i'll also be giving the sleeve a good soak.

Karla (ThreadBndr) said...

I'm also doing Hedra! Isn't it a great pattern? But be careful - the construction with the twisted stitch going down along the sides of the instep really needs an even number of pattern repeats.

So I've added 2 repeats and gone down to size 0 needles.

YTT said...

Since many tragedies are in five acts, I am not only weeping from this beginning but in a state of anguished suspense over the continuation.

But I hope this one has a surprise happy ending.